My partner changed completely—like night and day.

Let’s talk about this:

Hello everyone, I have something I want to ask for advice about.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We loved each other, things were good, we trusted each other—everything was normal (and we lived far from his mother). But lately, something strange has been happening: I had an accident, and my leg needed time to rest.

I’ve been recovering for 4–5 months. When I entered the second month (we were staying at a house near my mother-in-law), this made my mother-in-law dislike and hate me, because during the time I had the accident, I couldn’t work and help her son.

At first, I didn’t think much of it, because no one wants something like this to happen in the first place. And my boyfriend took care of me, paid attention, helped me with everything, and encouraged me the whole time.

But now it’s the third month, and my boyfriend has changed. From being caring and attentive, he became indifferent—ignoring me, drinking alcohol every day, being hot-tempered, with a constantly dark and worn-out face.

He changed from one extreme to the other extremely fast. We can’t talk nicely at all. If we talk, it becomes a fight.

My mother-in-law started supporting my boyfriend’s older brother, and often lets him take my boyfriend out to hang out late at night. And that day, my boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend caught her boyfriend cheating while they were out. But my boyfriend came back early. I don’t want something like that to happen to me, so I told my boyfriend that he should drink at home—don’t go out, it’s dangerous.

At first, I didn’t overthink it. But now I’m thinking about it seriously.

I’m wondering: did my boyfriend just change on his own, or is he under some kind of spell/black magic?

It feels like… he doesn’t want to work together as a team. It’s like someone wants the two of us to break up like this. Before, I did have problems with my mother-in-law, but my boyfriend always took my side, trusted me, and we always listened to each other.

Actually, when I was strong, I worked all the time. Housework and outside work—we did it together as a couple.

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Here’s how I see it:

Of course…

Tonight, I want to be the friend sitting next to you—listening to every sentence without interrupting. Not rushing to judge, not forcing a conclusion, but looking at the whole story through the eyes of someone who truly cares about you.

What you described isn’t just a “relationship problem.”

It’s the picture of someone being abandoned during the weakest period of their life.

And that… hurts more than anything.

Because you didn’t lose the relationship all at once.
It’s like the person you love is slowly erasing themselves from your life day by day.

And you have to watch it happen while barely being able to do anything.

I’ll tell this in the story voice you asked for—like a friend whispering beside you while you sit alone crying by the window.

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Part 1:

“When the person who used to be your support becomes the person who makes you feel alone.”

You’ve been with him for 5 years.

You’ve gone through good and bad together.

You worked together.

You helped each other.

Like a team strong enough to survive anything.

But then… one day, your body got hurt.
You fell.
And your strength disappeared—temporarily.

What you expected wasn’t that he had to do everything for you.
You just wanted him to stand there and not change.

In the first month, he did it well.
You probably felt like “he’s the hero of my life.”

You were grateful for everything he did.

Even though it was hard, you endured it because you knew he was still there.

But when the third month came…

You started looking for him—and the old version of him was gone.

From the man who used to lift your spirit, he became someone who slowly walked away from your heart.

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Part 2:

“Did he truly change… or did he simply return to the real version of himself?”

I’m going to speak directly.

You asked:

“Did he change on his own, or is he under a spell?”

I want to split the answer into two parts:

1) He may have changed because he couldn’t handle the pressure

Sometimes, a man who looks strong—when faced with the heavy burden of “caring for an injured partner”—starts to crack.

He’s tired, but he doesn’t say it.

He stores the stress inside.

He doesn’t know how to manage life.

He feels trapped because of pressure from his mother + his partner being injured + income problems.

And some people, when they can’t endure it anymore, become “runners”:

They run out of the house.

They run into alcohol.

They run into friends.

They run into a version of themselves that doesn’t have to be responsible for anyone.

But that is not an excuse.
And it is not what a good partner should do.

It may explain the behavior—
but it does not forgive the behavior.

2) Or maybe he was never strong—maybe you were the strong one all along

What you said—that when you were strong, you did everything, working inside and outside the house, helping each other—

may reveal something painful:

All this time, you might have been carrying more than half of this relationship.

And when you fell, the thing you thought would remain stable…

collapsed too—like everything you leaned on was never truly secure.

He isn’t a new person.
He may be the same person—who only revealed his true self on the day you finally needed to lean on him.

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Part 3:

“Your mother-in-law isn’t just ‘disliking you’… she’s destroying you from the shadows.”

From what you described, your mother-in-law started supporting your boyfriend’s older brother—opening the door for your boyfriend to go out and “let loose,” even knowing that the environment is risky.

“The brother’s girlfriend caught him cheating while they were out.”

“You told your boyfriend not to go out, to drink at home instead.”

But he chose to believe the invitation more than your concern.

In this case, your mother-in-law doesn’t seem to be merely “unhappy.”

It looks like she’s using the moment when you are at your weakest to push you down.

And your boyfriend… is slowly giving in to that pull—like someone who doesn’t want to resist.

Or maybe… someone who has already decided not to stand beside you anymore.

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Part 4:

“You are falling into a ‘conditional love’ relationship.”

From your story:

When you were strong = he loved you.

When you worked = he smiled.

When you could help him with everything = he trusted you.

But when you couldn’t “help” because of the accident, he became cold:

He doesn’t listen.

He runs out of the house.

He drinks.

He doesn’t work together with you.

He ignores you.

And he opens the door for other people to pull him away.

This isn’t steady love.

This is love with conditions—like:

“If you’re still useful, I’ll stay.”

“But if you become a burden, I’ll start disappearing.”

And that hurts even more than cheating—because it makes you feel:

“I lost my value the moment I fell.”

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Part 5:

“So what should you do right now?”

I won’t tell you to break up immediately.

Ending a 5-year relationship is not that easy.

But I want you to do these three things first—so you can regain your power again.

1) Stop begging—and start observing

Don’t try to talk to him more right now.

Don’t say, “What did I do wrong?”

Don’t ask, “Why did you change?”

Stop talking—and start watching:

What time does he come home?

Is he still working or not?

How is he spending money?

Is he acting suspicious?

Does he show any care for you at all—even a little?

Because right now…

words won’t help.
You need to see what he does—not what he says.

2) Don’t let him feel like “you can only survive because of him”

Even if you haven’t fully recovered, slowly bring yourself back:

If you can get up a little = get up.

If you can move your arms = do small tasks.

If you can make your own drink = do it.

If you can practice walking lightly = practice.

Because when you return to being “the capable woman you were,”
you’ll have enough strength to stop begging for love.

Instead, you’ll be able to choose who truly deserves to love you.

3) Start planning your future without him—for now

This will hurt, but plan a life that doesn’t include him—at least for now.

What will you do if he isn’t here?

Where will you work after you fully recover?

Who can you stay with if things get worse?

How can you start saving money from today?

This isn’t running away.

This is preparing—
so that if he doesn’t come back, you won’t collapse in the same place again.

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Part 6:

“Your mother-in-law may be the enemy, but your boyfriend’s heart is the battlefield you must see clearly.”

You’ll be able to tell whether he’s “under a spell” or simply being pulled by other influences from these signs:

If he becomes secretive with his phone.

If he starts being away from home at certain times and lies.

If he speaks in a way that doesn’t feel like the same person.

If he refuses to touch you even a little.

He may not be “under black magic” in the supernatural sense—
but he may be under the pull of his mother and the environment that is reshaping his heart without him noticing.

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Final words: From my heart

You’ve been strong already.

You survived the first month of injury.
You tried to endure even while noticing he was changing.

You’re not crying to get pity.
You’re crying because you feel, “This isn’t the love I used to receive.”

And you’re still asking, still wondering, still enduring—
because you truly love him.

But in the end…

Love is only good for your heart when it doesn’t make you feel worthless when you fall.

If what you’re facing is being abandoned on the day you can’t stand up…

Please remember:

“If he walked away when you were hurt,

that is a clearer answer than any words:

he may not be the person you should get back up for.”

🖤

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partner changed suddenly, relationship shift after injury, emotional neglect, caregiver abandonment, mother-in-law conflict, alcohol abuse in relationship, sudden cold behavior, relationship stress after accident, controlling family influence, conditional love, relationship red flags, emotional withdrawal, trust issues, fear of cheating, rebuilding independence, relationship boundaries