If I’m extremely exhausted from work but still refuse to go to sleep, is that normal?

Let’s talk about this:

Hello. I work as a teacher, but I’m not officially appointed as a government teacher. My position is a contract teacher hired to provide teaching services. I’ve been working for 2 years now.

The problem is… I’ve started to have thoughts like not wanting to sleep because I want to have time for myself. If I go to sleep, a new day will begin, and then I’ll have to go to work.

I leave the house at 7:00 a.m. because I don’t want to get stuck in traffic, and then I work — which includes teaching, doing paperwork, and other tasks that I’m assigned. After teaching, in the late afternoon, I train students in music. I let the students go home at around 18:00. Sometimes I still have to keep working, depending on what my supervisor tells me to do and what work there is. On days I get home earlier, it’s about 19:30. The latest might be around 22:00.

Saturdays and Sundays, I rarely get a proper break, because sometimes I have to schedule practice for students to prepare for competitions or events as assigned, or else I’ll have to go in to work according to instructions. I almost never get to travel or really rest. If I do have a free day with no activities, I just stay home and lie around.

During school breaks, I don’t really get a break either. If I’m not training students in music, I still have to go in to work, because with my status as a contract teacher, I’m required to work during the school break; otherwise, there will be no basis to process my salary payments.

But what I’ve started to question about myself is this: during the day I’ve become more withdrawn. I don’t really feel like talking to anyone, even though I used to be quite a talkative person who liked to start conversations. I feel more still, don’t really feel like speaking. What’s worse is: I’m sleepy during the day, but at night I don’t sleep well, and I don’t really want to sleep. I want to stay in the nighttime. No matter how tired I am, I refuse to go to bed because I’m afraid I’ll have to wake up early and rush off to work.

If I’m having these kinds of feelings… is it normal?

Here’s how I see it :

⭐“I don’t want to sleep, because if I sleep, a new day will begin” — this isn’t just a habit… it’s a sign of something deeper.

That sentence you said is not a small thing.
It’s the kind of sentence many people say when they’ve reached a level of exhaustion that goes deeper than just physical tiredness.

It’s the state where your heart is trying to shout:

“I don’t have any time that truly belongs to me.
If I fall asleep, I’ll be thrown back into a cycle I don’t want to face again.”

This is what, in the field of psychology, is called:

⭐ Revenge Bedtime Procrastination

(getting revenge on your life schedule by refusing to sleep)

But in your case,
it’s not the lighter version —
not the ordinary “stay up late to watch series or scroll your phone” kind of thing.

Yours is a version with pain hidden underneath.

Your day:

Starts early
Stretches long
Work is never really “finished”
Days off are almost non-existent
Responsibilities show up at all hours
Evenings are spent training students
You get home around 19:30–22:00
Weekends are hardly real weekends
School breaks aren’t breaks, because you have to come in or else your salary can’t be processed

Your life:

Your life’s time = almost nothing
Your personal time = almost nothing

Personal time = zero.

Your current life is basically:

“Work – sleep – wake up – work – sleep – wake up – work”

Repeated over and over like a machine.

Your body is extremely exhausted.
But your heart… is desperately craving a space that belongs only to you.

That’s why this state appears:

⭐ ‘Too exhausted to want to sleep’ = the body needs rest, but the heart refuses, because it doesn’t want the workday to start.

It has a psychological name:

Emotional Burnout + Anxiety-driven Sleep Avoidance

(Emotional exhaustion + anxiety that drives you to avoid sleeping)

Sounds like a lot, right?
But every one of your symptoms matches:

✔ Dull and withdrawn during the day
✔ Don’t feel like talking, even though you used to be the one who loved to chat
✔ Becoming more quiet, more reserved
✔ Sleepy during the day
✔ Can’t sleep well at night
✔ Don’t want to go to bed even when very tired
✔ Feel like sleeping = the starting point of stress
✔ Feel more still, more emotionally flat
✔ Pulling away from activities you used to enjoy
✔ Pulling back from social interaction

All of this is the same pattern as deep-level burnout —
caused by heavy workload + lack of rest + chronic pressure + work that has no clear boundaries.

And this is very common in groups like contract teachers / special-subject teachers / activity teachers who have heavy workloads all year round.

Because the system is designed so that you must “give” all the time,
but it is not designed for you to “rest.”

⭐ Let me tell you a story… about a teacher who went through almost exactly what you’re going through.

She did work very similar to yours — teaching, paperwork, student practice, activities, projects, school events, weekend duties. Her days off disappeared like they’d been erased from time.

Daytime, she walked around smiling, but inside she felt like she was dragging herself.
At night… she refused to go to bed.

Because if she slept, it meant:

Tomorrow she had to go to school again,
start everything all over again,
with work that had no clear end,
students to teach, documents to prepare, policies to deal with, supervisors to face, surprise projects that just appeared out of nowhere.

She said almost the exact same sentence as you:

“I don’t want to sleep, because if I fall asleep, it means I have no time that belongs to me at all.”

But what she didn’t know was…

What she was experiencing was emotional exhaustion so severe
that her brain had started to mute her own inner voice.

The result was Burnout Stage 2–3 —
the point where it starts affecting sleep, mood, and motivation in life.

You… are standing in that zone too.

⭐ So, is this “normal”? — Let me answer as someone who truly cares about you.

❌ It’s not “normal” in terms of health.
✔ But it’s very normal in the sense that anyone in your situation could feel this way.

It’s like asking:

“If I stand in a heavy rainstorm, will I get wet?”

Of course you will —
because the situation guarantees that you’ll be soaked.

Right now, you are not “abnormal.”
You are responding normally to a work environment that is abnormally demanding.

What you’re experiencing
is not weakness,
not overthinking,
but being so exhausted that your mind starts protecting itself in strange ways.

And that method is…

“Don’t sleep, to prolong the feeling that this time still belongs to me.”

It’s a quiet way of reclaiming your life.
Like someone who’s been pushed into a corner until there’s no breathing room left —
so they sneakily steal back a bit of space each night
by refusing to go to sleep.

⭐ Why do you “not feel like talking to anyone” even though you used to be chatty?

Because you’re entering a mode called Social Withdrawal —
a very common symptom of burnout, especially in teachers.

What does it look like?

Don’t feel like answering questions
Don’t feel like initiating conversations
Don’t want to generate energy for others
Feel that talking = tiring
The brain shuts down its social mode
Your energy is being spent almost entirely on survival at work

Your brain is following the same pattern as an animal that’s nearly out of strength:

It reduces all non-essential energy use
just to conserve enough energy to get through what’s absolutely required.

No matter how talkative you naturally are,
when your energy is deeply in the negative,
your instincts will say:

“Be quiet. It’s safer this way.”

That’s what’s happening.

⭐ And what about being sleepy during the day but unable to sleep at night?

This is a classic sign of over-fatigue + stress-induced insomnia.

The body is tired enough to want to sleep,
but the brain is too alert to allow sleep,
because your brain is thinking:

“If I sleep = I’ll wake up = I’ll have to go to work = I’ll have to be exhausted again.”

So it refuses to let you fall asleep,
because it feels like “work” is a threat.

Without you realizing it, your brain has become:

Daytime: exhausted → sleepy
Nighttime: anxious/guarded → refuses to sleep

This is not “can’t sleep because of too much screen time.”
This is your brain defending itself from stress.

⭐ You’re carrying “the workload of three positions but being paid for only one.”

I want you to really hear this,
because in the world of contract teachers / activity teachers / special-subject teachers,
this is a reality insiders know all too well:

✔ Teaching
✔ Paperwork
✔ Activities
✔ School projects
✔ Student practice
✔ Working on Saturdays–Sundays
✔ School events and performances
✔ Working during school breaks

And on top of that:

✔ Carrying expectations
✔ Carrying duties that exceed your official role
✔ Carrying sudden orders
✔ Carrying tasks that are not in your job description
✔ Carrying responsibilities that those above you may never see

So can someone in your position end up feeling like this?

Absolutely. It happens a lot.

Many don’t dare speak up because they’re afraid of ruining the image of “teachers must be strong.”
But the truth is:

Teachers are human.
And teaching jobs in Thailand are often heavier than what a normal human can reasonably sustain.

⭐ And what you’re feeling now… Is it dangerous?

I’ll be as straightforward as possible:

❗ You are not at a critical danger point yet.
❗ But you are in a high-risk zone for medium-to-severe burnout.

If left alone, it can evolve into:

Depression
Anxiety
Chronic insomnia
Mood swings
Life fatigue
Losing interest in things you once loved
Crying easily
Feeling like you’re just drifting through days with no spark
Feeling like you have no meaning

You’re not at that deepest level yet,
but the line is very close,
and you are walking toward it.

You are not at fault.
You are exhausted.
Your work has consumed so much of your life that there’s nothing left for yourself.

⭐ The important question: What should you do? (Here’s a realistic roadmap.)

I won’t tell you “just rest more”
because I know very well your work can’t “just rest” on command.

I’ll give you practical advice that fits the real-world conditions you’re in.

1) ⭐ Start by sharpening the boundary between “work” and “life” just a little.

Not big,
not dramatic,
not something you have to announce to anyone.

Just a thin line
that only you know exists.

Simple ways:

✔ Set certain days or times where you tell yourself:
“Today I won’t take on any extra tasks.”
✔ Separate tasks into “must do today” vs “can be done later.”
✔ Avoid responding to work messages once you’re home (if possible).
✔ Don’t bring work home on days you’re completely drained.
✔ Don’t automatically say yes when someone tries to dump a task on you.

You don’t have to be defiant or rigid.
Just stop accepting everything by default.

You’re sending a signal to your own heart:

“I have my own space too.”

2) ⭐ Reward yourself during the day, so the night doesn’t need to steal back time.

Not wanting to sleep because you feel like “my whole life disappears”
happens when you have zero personal time during the day.

It doesn’t mean you must go shopping or traveling every day,
but you can do things like:

✔ Take a 10-minute walk alone after classes
✔ Set aside a lunch break where no one is allowed to disturb you
✔ Listen to music you love during small breaks
✔ Give yourself 5 minutes of real pause between periods
✔ Do one small thing each day that feels like “this is just for me”

It doesn’t have to be big.
Just enough for your brain to know:

“I have time that belongs to me during the day too.”

Then at night, it will be less rebellious.

3) ⭐ Don’t force yourself to “sleep.” Instead, try to “shut down the body before your heart protests.”

Instead of telling yourself you must fall asleep, try this:

Dim the lights
Lie on the bed without intentionally trying to sleep
Listen to soft music
Put the phone away
Make the room cool and comfortable
Use a soft pillow
Turn on a fan or white noise

You don’t have to command yourself to “sleep.”
Just say:

“I’m going to switch my body off for now.”

Let the body handle the rest.
It’s gentler and often more effective.

4) ⭐ Accept this truth: You are already working beyond normal human limits.

Yes,
it sounds harsh,
but it’s true.

You are not weak.
You are someone working at 150–200% of what a normal person would give,
in a position that doesn’t give you benefits or support anywhere near what you’re giving.

Accept that
not to complain,
but so you’ll understand:

You’re not the cause of the problem.
You are the result of an over-demanding system.

5) ⭐ Find 1 day per month that is truly your day — where you don’t work at all.

If possible, choose one day.
Just one day.

No work.
No student practice.
No responding to work messages.
No touching school paperwork.

That one day will make your heart feel like it can finally breathe
without having to ask anyone’s permission.

It can change your inner world more than you might think.

⭐ Finally… let me speak to you as honestly as a true friend would.

What you’re feeling,
what you’re going through,
the symptoms you’re describing—

All of it…

Is not “abnormal.”
It’s very normal for someone who has been exhausted for far too long with no one helping carry the load.

You’re holding up something huge
in a system that doesn’t give you much space to rest.

You’re giving your physical, emotional, and mental energy to your students and your work,
but there’s almost no place in your life that belongs solely to you.

So it’s no surprise that you’ve started to feel deeply tired
and have begun to resist sleep,
because sleep = being pushed back into the workday.

You are a capable teacher.
You endure a lot.
You give a lot.
You take on heavy responsibility.
You give your best to your job.

But don’t forget…

You’re also a human being with a heart.
And the heart always needs a space of its own.

You are not wrong.
You are not broken.
You are not strange.

You’re just tired.
Far more tired than you should have to be.

And your body and heart are sending out an SOS signal—
one that you’ve only just started to truly hear.

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#TeacherLife #BurnoutAwareness #EmotionalExhaustion #RevengeBedtimeProcrastination #OverworkedAndTired #MentalHealthForTeachers #YouAreNotAlone #SetBoundaries

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