Have you ever done everything to please your best friend, but they never do the same for you?

Let’s talk about this:

I always support my close friend in whatever they want to do — I go along, help out, cheer them on.
But when it’s my turn — when it’s about something I want to do — they don’t seem supportive, don’t want to join, or even disagree.
I feel a bit hurt, though I understand that everyone has their own choices, their own way of loving themselves, their right to do or not do something.
If they really wanted to, they would.
But still… I feel a little disappointed.
Can you give me some advice or a mindset to help me not feel hurt about it?

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Here’s how I see it : 

 🌙 When you “keep pleasing your friend” until your heart starts to feel tired — how do you stop feeling hurt?

Have you ever met someone who makes you feel like, “I just want to be there for them — always”?
No matter how small or big the thing is, if they invite you, you go. If they need help, you’re there. If they need encouragement, you show up in a heartbeat.
It’s like you’ve unlocked a special “support mode” that activates only when it comes to them — a mode that gives without hesitation.

But one day, when it’s your story — something you wish they’d stand beside you for — they seem indifferent.
They smile gently and say, “Oh, it’s fine. You go ahead. I’m not really into that.”

Something tiny stings inside your chest.
You’re not angry — just quietly disappointed, like a faint scratch across the heart.

And that feeling… isn’t wrong at all.

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🩵 1. Feeling hurt doesn’t mean you’re weak — it means your heart still wants to be seen.

We often try to stop ourselves from feeling hurt because we don’t want to look “too sensitive.”
We tell ourselves:
“It’s fine. They have the right to choose.”
“I should understand; they didn’t do anything wrong.”

And yes, all of that is logically true —
but feelings don’t always follow logic.

Feeling hurt isn’t a weakness.
It’s a natural reaction from a heart that still longs to matter — because you’re not asking your friend to agree with you in everything;
you just want to feel that you matter enough for them to want to stand beside you.

Think about it —
when you’re with them, you give from genuine care, not because you expect anything in return.
You help because “being by their side” gives your life meaning.

So when they don’t choose to stand beside you — it feels like you’ve quietly vanished from the equation of that friendship.

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💭 2. A good friendship doesn’t have to be equal — but it needs emotional balance.

Not all friendships are perfectly balanced 50–50.
Sometimes one person gives more during a certain season,
and later, life shifts and the roles reverse.

But sometimes… that imbalance lasts too long.
You keep giving until your heart gets tired — without realizing it.

What truly hurts isn’t just that they didn’t give back —
it’s that you felt unseen after giving so much.
And in healthy relationships, understanding should flow both ways.

Constantly giving without space to receive turns quiet exhaustion into emotional drought.

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🌿 3. “Understanding them” is good — but don’t forget to “understand yourself” too.

Being empathetic sounds noble — it’s what mature people do.
But often, the ones who “understand others too much”
are the same ones who forget to care for themselves.

You tell yourself,
“They’re not wrong; they just don’t feel like it.”
“I shouldn’t expect anything.”

It’s wise thinking —
but deep down, your heart still whispers, “I just wish they’d notice me sometimes.”

Understanding doesn’t mean silencing your own emotions.
You can understand them and still honor your own feelings.

Try speaking to yourself kindly:
“It’s okay to feel hurt. It’s not wrong.”
“I’m still a good person, even if I feel disappointed.”

That softness toward yourself begins to release the pressure to be strong all the time.

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🕯️ 4. See friendship as candlelight — not a light bulb.

A light bulb shines constantly the moment you flip a switch.
But a candle needs care to keep it from going out.

Friendship is the same.
It doesn’t have to shine equally all the time.
Sometimes their light flickers — not because they don’t care, but because they’re busy burning energy elsewhere in life.

The key is to accept that each candle burns differently.
You don’t need to force theirs to be as bright as yours right now.

But also — don’t forget to tend to your own flame.
If you keep lighting others’ candles until yours melts away completely,
there’ll be no light left for yourself.

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🧩 5. “Best friend” doesn’t mean “identical in every way.”

Some people are close to us in one world, but not every world.
They may be your perfect travel buddy, but not your creative partner.
They might understand your love life, but not your dreams.
They might laugh with you every day, but not understand your serious side.

That doesn’t mean they don’t love you —
it means they have limits to how they can be there for you.
And we should respect those limits instead of stretching them beyond their nature.

Accepting differences isn’t distancing.
It’s adjusting our perspective so the relationship can grow naturally.

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🌤️ 6. To stop feeling hurt — change your equation from giving to be appreciated → giving because it’s who you are.

When you start thinking, “Why won’t they support me like I support them?”
pause and reframe it:
You didn’t do those things to be repaid.
You did them because that’s the kind of friend you are.

You want to be kind. You want to be supportive.
That’s who you are — not something that depends on their reaction.

When “I give because I want them to value me”
becomes “I give because I value who I am,”
your heart will begin to heal.

Because your worth now comes from what you choose to give with love,
not what others choose to return.

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🌻 7. But if it hurts too much — it’s time to “adjust your distance.”

Friendship isn’t a choice between “stay or leave.”
There’s a middle ground — “adjusting the distance.”

You don’t have to cut them off.
You just need to take half a step back,
so your heart doesn’t keep getting scraped.

You can still love them, help them, smile at them —
but also start practicing not to show up every single time they call.

Not because you’ve stopped caring —
but because you want to save some energy for yourself too.

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🌼 8. Fill your life with other “circles of connection.”

Sometimes we feel hurt because our world revolves around too few people.
We’ve poured all our energy into one friendship and forgotten to build other circles.

So when they’re not beside us, our world feels empty.

But if you create new circles —
friends who share your artistic side, your dreams, your love for films,
or even just more time alone with yourself —

that feeling of hurt will fade.
Because you’ll realize, “My happiness isn’t held by one person.”

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💫 9. You can talk about your feelings — if you’re ready.

Maybe they truly don’t know how you feel.
They think you’re always happy to help and have no idea you’re quietly aching.

If you’re ready, you can tell them gently — without blame.

Something like:
“I don’t need you to do everything I do, but I just want you to know — I always feel happy being there for you. Sometimes, though, I feel a little lonely when it’s my turn.”

That’s enough to open the door of understanding.
If they love you, they’ll adjust — without you even asking.

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🫶 10. Remember — you’re valuable even when no one caters to you.

When no one’s beside you,
when that friend doesn’t respond the way you hoped —

don’t forget:
You don’t need anyone’s approval to prove your dreams matter.
You don’t need someone sitting next to you to prove you’re lovable.

You’re already enough.
You just sometimes forget to see your own worth because you’re waiting for someone else to see it first.

But in truth, the one who should see it first… is you.

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🌙 From Me — straight to your heart

My dear friend,
I want you to know that pleasing others isn’t wrong.
It means your heart is big and the world needs more of that tenderness.
But please — save a part of that heart for yourself.

Because pleasing yourself isn’t selfish.
It’s how you heal the tired parts that have loved so hard.

Don’t turn cold just because you’ve been disappointed.
Instead, learn how to give without wounding your own heart.

And one day, when someone truly values what you give,
you’ll realize that being gentle was never a waste.

It naturally attracts those who love with the same depth —
people who will stand by you because they genuinely want to,
not because you asked them to.

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🌤️ Final words from your friend, me.

“Don’t lose your heart because someone didn’t treat you the way you hoped.
Let it grow until the day you no longer need anyone’s approval —
because you’ve learned how to fill your own heart first.”

It’s okay to feel hurt — you don’t have to stop yourself.
But after that, wrap your arms around yourself and whisper,

“It’s okay. I did my best.”

Because for someone with a heart as beautiful as yours —
that’s more than enough. 💙

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