Workplace relationships

Let’s talk about this:

Hello, I’d like to ask everyone about the kind of relationship between a manager and a subordinate in the workplace. This has been bothering me a lot lately, and I’m not sure how I should handle it or what the best way to resolve it is.

Here’s the situation:

I work at a convenience store as an assistant store manager, and I’ve been observing the behavior between one of my coworkers and our manager that has clearly gone beyond “just manager–subordinate” for a while now. Recently, it’s become even more obvious. The two of them are very openly affectionate, even though both of them already have families.

I don’t know what I should do. Should I report it to upper management? Or should I just leave it alone until one day the truth comes out by itself? But I’m also afraid that if I report it, it will cause problems when we have to work together, because I do respect my manager a lot as well. At the same time, from the perspective of what’s right and ethical, I’m worried there could be favoritism or negative impact on work.

Right now I feel really conflicted and restless. I truly don’t know which path would be the best to take.

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Here’s how I see it:

What you’re going through is more delicate than most people realize.
It’s not just some simple “boss–subordinate drama.”
It touches on ethics, team trust, work performance, store atmosphere, job security, and in some organizations it can even be considered a disciplinary issue.

And most importantly…
You’re in the position of assistant store manager.
You see everything very clearly.
You’re stuck right in the middle with no way to escape.
You’re not just any regular staff—you’re “the assistant who has to help oversee systems and fairness in the store.”

So your feeling of being “really torn up inside” is 100% understandable.

Let’s walk through this as a story, scene by scene,
so you can see clearly what you’re actually dealing with.

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🎬 CHAPTER 1 — The “secret” inside the convenience store that isn’t actually a secret anymore

The picture of a convenience store is easy for anyone to imagine:
A small shop full of people,
back room packed with stock,
goods going in and out,
customers constantly entering and leaving.

The team has to coordinate a hundred things a day.
But the most exhausting part isn’t the work…
It’s the “people and people” part.

You, as the assistant store manager,
are in the middle of everything.

You have to check stock.
You have to arrange shifts.
You have to check everyone’s work.
You have to manage staff.
You have to support the manager.
You have to act as a counselor to the staff.
You have to be mindful of the team’s morale.
You quietly keep track of what’s going on.

Then one day,
you start noticing that “the manager” and “a particular employee”
are not just “close like older sibling–younger sibling.”
There’s “something more” going on—
something beyond what is appropriate for the workplace.

At first, maybe it was just:

• Joking and teasing more intensely than normal
• Always walking around together
• The manager smiling at that person more than at others
• Having special conversations after closing
• Helping each other out in ways that feel “extra” and everyone can notice
• Doing store closing together just the two of them
• Disappearing into the back room together longer than usual
• Being assigned to work the same shifts unusually often

At first you might have thought, “Just let it go.”
Maybe it’s just the manager’s personality.
Maybe they’re just close as coworkers.

But as time passes,
things start to become obvious.
People in the store begin to notice.
Staff start whispering.
You start getting worried, thinking:

“Hey… this is starting to feel like more than just normal workplace closeness.”

And what makes it heavier is…

Both of them already have families.

That’s the point where it stops being mere “shop gossip”
and becomes an issue of workplace ethics.

And if this involves the manager,
then it becomes an issue of power imbalance (superior vs subordinate),
which is very dangerous for everyone on the team.

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🎬 CHAPTER 2 — Why do you feel this more heavily than everyone else in the shop?

Because you’re not just some bystander watching from afar.
You are the assistant store manager.

This role sits between the manager and the staff.
It’s a position that:

• Has to keep an eye on fairness
• Has to maintain staff morale
• Has to monitor whether there’s favoritism
• Has to deal with the team if it breaks apart
• Has to act as a neutral party when problems arise
• Has to answer to upper management if there are complaints

And most importantly…

When something happens, management will ask:

“Did you know about this beforehand?”

If you knew but didn’t report it →
You might be seen as “turning a blind eye.”

If you report it →
You might be seen as “the person who stirred up conflict in the store.”

This is one of the most difficult no-win positions for someone in a leadership-support role.

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🎬 CHAPTER 3 — Why is this a “big deal” and not just silly drama at a convenience store?

Because it affects four major areas at the same time:

1) Work Ethics

In service work, transparency is extremely important.

If a manager is having a relationship with a subordinate (even if it’s not official yet), it often leads to:

• Unreasonably fast promotions
• Favorable shift assignments
• Overlooking mistakes
• Absences being tolerated
• Other staff feeling unfairly treated
• Work quality being affected
• The team fracturing

People will start to think:

“Well yeah, they’re close with the manager, so of course they get all that.”

Fairness collapses—no question.

2) Impact on Store Atmosphere (Team Morale)

A convenience store is a small space.
Everything is fast and intense.

If the manager and a subordinate are openly involved:

• Other staff will start to dislike it.
• They stop respecting the manager.
• They feel less engaged with the job.
• They don’t want to take certain shifts.
• The team splits into sides.
• People quit.

Just the looks they give each other,
the little touches,
helping each other more than normal—
the team picks up on everything.

Especially in such a small, tightly coordinated work environment.

3) Organizational Risk

Big chains and major convenience store brands do not tolerate this kind of thing because it touches:

• Safety
• Possible sexual harassment issues if there’s pressure or coercion
• Favoritism
• Ethics
• Family issues
• Store reputation
• Potential legal or complaint issues
• Internal HR investigations

And organizations hate situations where:

“Employees know first but management finds out last.”

That makes upper management immediately frustrated.

4) Risk to You Personally

This is the heaviest one.

❌ If you report it → you might damage your relationship with your manager.
❌ If you don’t report it → if something blows up later, you might be blamed for “allowing it.”
❌ If they fight with each other → you’ll get dragged in as the middle person.
❌ If one of their families finds out → you might get pulled into the drama.
❌ If staff learn about it and split into factions → you might lose control of the store.

You’re standing on ground that could crack open at any time.

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🎬 CHAPTER 4 — Why do people still do this even when they’re already married?

Workplace affairs often happen because of four factors:

1. Seeing each other every day → emotional chemistry develops easily.
2. Physical closeness + familiarity → “You understand me better than the person at home.”
3. Work stress → people look for emotional support from whoever’s nearby.
4. Routine collaboration → they become too close without realizing they’ve crossed a line.

And people who already have families often rationalize it:

“We’re not really doing anything wrong.”
“We’re just close coworkers.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Who’s going to find out anyway?”

But someone standing in the middle, like you,
sees it more clearly than they do.

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🎬 CHAPTER 5 — Why are you hesitating so much?

From what you wrote, I can clearly see three main feelings:

🌧 1) You’re afraid of “causing a big explosion.”
Because both of them have families.
You’re afraid everything will collapse.
You’re afraid the store atmosphere will be ruined.
You’re afraid you’ll become the person everyone blames.

🌧 2) You’re afraid of “damaging your relationship with your manager.”
You respect your manager.
You don’t want to hurt anyone.
But you also don’t want to betray your own principles.

🌧 3) You’re afraid that “if you ignore it, it’ll affect work.”

Because you’re worried about:

• Staff thinking you’re taking sides
• The team splitting
• Being seen as complicit
• Being hit with disciplinary consequences later

This kind of restless, conflicted feeling
is the feeling of someone who actually has integrity.

Only people who care about doing the right thing at work
feel this kind of heavy inner conflict.

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🎬 CHAPTER 6 — So, where exactly are you standing right now?

You’re standing in the middle of three forces:

• Correctness → wanting transparency and fairness
• Relationships → not wanting conflict with your manager
• Job survival → fear of being dragged down with them

So the best answer is not simply:

“Just report them.”
or
“Just stay quiet.”

The best answer is to walk the middle path intelligently and safely.

And I’m going to tell you:
There are “professional options” you can take that don’t destroy you in the process.

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🎯 CHAPTER 7 — What should you actually do? (Step-by-step survival guide)

I’ll break it into three options with different risk levels.
You can choose depending on your store’s real situation.

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🅾 Option 1: “Observe and quietly document” (lowest-risk path)

This is suitable if, for now:

• It hasn’t directly affected work performance.
• It’s not yet clearly beyond the line.
• There’s no obvious favoritism or harassment.

This approach is:

• Keep track of behaviors that seem risky.
• Write them down quietly (private talks, unusual time alone, frequent shifts together, etc.).
• Watch for any signs of preferential treatment or unfair decisions.

If they’re just emotionally close
but it hasn’t affected scheduling, discipline, or fairness—
no clear sexual harassment, no abuse of power—
you can choose to leave it for now.

Because sometimes what we see as “too close”
might actually still be within their personal boundaries,
even if it makes others uncomfortable.

Pros: Safest, stable, lowest risk to you.
Cons: Your inner discomfort will remain, but your position stays protected.

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🅿 Option 2: “Talk to the manager without accusing” (middle path)

If you’re relatively close to your manager,
there’s mutual trust,
and your store culture is not toxic,
this can work very well.

Use an “Observation + Concern” approach,
not an “Accusation” approach.

For example:

“P’ (manager), I’d like to talk about something respectfully.

Lately I’ve noticed that you and ___ seem much closer.
I’m not thinking badly of you,
but as the assistant, I’m a bit worried that the team might start to get the wrong idea.
I’m afraid it could affect how people see things in the store.

I just want you to know that people might be noticing,
and I’m worried it could affect the store’s atmosphere and team dynamics.”

This tone:

• Doesn’t accuse.
• Doesn’t interpret their actions.
• Doesn’t embarrass the manager.
• But clearly signals that “the team can see what’s going on.”

They will get the message.

Pros:
Helps prevent further damage without making you an enemy.

Cons:
The manager might deny it or simply become more careful, but not stop.

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🅿🅻 Option 3: “Report anonymously to upper management” if things get serious

If at this point:

• There is clear favoritism.
• The team is splitting into factions.
• Staff are clearly upset.
• Gossip is everywhere in the store.
• Atmosphere is deteriorating.
• Or you’re afraid that one of their spouses might show up and create a scene—

Then the safest route is:

• Use any internal complaint channel (anonymous hotline, feedback box, etc.).
• State that:
• A manager and staff member seem unusually close.
• You worry about bias and unfair treatment.
• Work is actually being affected.
• You’re requesting that management quietly review the situation.

No need to say “I” or identify yourself.
No need to be involved after submitting it.

Pros:
Protects you, shifts responsibility to management.

Cons:
The atmosphere may become tense for a while,
but in the long term, it’s better for the store.

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🅿🅾 Option 4: “Do nothing and wait for it to blow up on its own” (with warnings)

You do have the choice to leave it alone.

Workplace affairs tend to follow this pattern:

At first: exciting →
Later: messy collapse.

When it collapses:

• They fight.
• Families find out.
• The team splits.
• Management finds out.
• Higher-ups intervene.

And you won’t have to do anything.

But the problem is…

Before it explodes, the store will be very chaotic.
You will suffer through the worst of the tension,
because you’re the middle person in the hierarchy.

Pros:
No immediate risk to you.

Cons:
You’ll be the one most emotionally exhausted.

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🎬 CHAPTER 8 — Let me answer you as a friend: Are you “wrong” for feeling uncomfortable?

Absolutely not. Not even a little.

Here are five truths:

1. You do have a duty to care about transparency in the store, because you’re at assistant manager level.
2. This will absolutely affect work if it’s left unchecked.
3. You’re not the only one who sees it—other staff see it too.
4. A workplace affair is a big deal. Organizations don’t like it.
5. Your inner conflict is the sign of someone who takes responsibility for their role.

People who don’t care about this
are usually people with low professional responsibility.

You, on the other hand, feel conflicted
because you care both about the job and the team.

Everything you’re feeling
is valid.

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🎬 CHAPTER 9 — Final verdict: Which path is “best”?

Here’s my straight summary:

• ✅ If it hasn’t affected work performance or fairness yet → Option 1
  “Observe, document, stay calm.”

• ✅ If you see signs of favoritism or bias starting → Option 2
  “Talk to the manager respectfully and highlight the impact.”

• ✅ If the team is splitting, gossip is severe, or the store is clearly affected → Option 3
  “Use an anonymous internal channel to notify upper management.”

• ✅ If you really don’t want to take any action → Option 4
  “Let it run its course and accept the chaos that comes with it.”

But whatever you choose, remember this:

You are an assistant manager with a strong sense of responsibility.
You don’t want to hurt anyone,
you don’t want to cause trouble,
but you also don’t want to betray your own ethics.

That’s not being nosy.
That’s being a professional.

Your feelings,
every single one of them,
are completely valid.

❤️

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