When a woman realizes someone close to her likes her, but he keeps touching her and she’s not okay with it… what should she do?

Let’s talk about this:

When a woman realizes someone close to her likes her, but he keeps touching her and she’s not okay with it… what should she do?

This is my own situation.

There is a man who makes me feel very uncomfortable. He’s someone very close to me in daily life because we work at the same place. I have to see him every day, and we sit near each other all the time. He often comes very close, like he has a crush on me. He likes to buy snacks for me, and he likes to touch me physically.

Even though I’ve never said directly that I don’t like it, my body language and behavior already make it very clear that I’m not okay with it. But he still keeps coming over to play around with me, to talk to me, to tease me over and over again.

What makes things even more complicated is that my ex-husband is also his friend. So I honestly don’t know what I should do. Right now I feel both scared and very uncomfortable. Even though I’ve tried to show clearly that I’m not okay with it, he still keeps doing the same things. He is really someone “very close” in my daily life. I don’t want it to get to the point where we have to cut ties completely as friends, because my friends are also his friends. But I don’t like him romantically at all. He also already knows that I have a child.

To add a bit more detail: he often comes over to “play” with me. For example, he will suddenly walk over and grab my back, poke my back, or bring his face very close to mine. And there was one time when he brought his hand into contact with my chest (I’m not sure whether he did it on purpose or not, because when I turned around, he immediately walked away — kind of like he touched me and then hurriedly left right away). That incident made me feel extremely unsafe.

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Here’s how I see it:

What you’re going through is not a small thing, and it’s not something you have to quietly endure.

This is a matter of:

• A woman’s safety in the workplace
• Someone who doesn’t respect your personal space
• And a man who pretends “not to know” what he’s doing, but actually knows exactly what he’s doing

You’re not overthinking.
You’re dealing with someone who either doesn’t read signals or pretends not to read them.

Okay, let’s lay it out scene by scene,
so you can really see what’s happening to you,
and how you can get out of this situation in the safest possible way.

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⭐ Chapter 1 — A man who is “too close” without your permission

Picture this…

An office where you’re supposed to feel safe.
A space where you should be able to work in peace.

Instead, there’s a man who is “too close”
in ways and distances that are absolutely not appropriate.

He’s a coworker.
He’s your ex-husband’s friend.
And he’s too close in your actual working space
because you “have to see him every day” and “sit near him every day.”

At first, he might look like a “nice guy”:

• Buys you snacks
• Talks to you
• Plays around with you
• Teases you
• Acts like you’re close

But what comes along with that is behavior that
clearly crosses a woman’s comfort boundary:

• He stands too close.
• He brings his face in too close.
• He walks over and grabs your back.
• He pokes your back.
• He touches your body without permission.

And one time,
he touched your chest
→ and then immediately walked away like he knew it was wrong.

Every woman knows…

We can tell the difference between:

• A genuine accident
• Something done on purpose
• And something that crosses the line

From everything you’ve shared,
your feelings are 100% valid.
What he’s doing = physical boundary violation — very clearly.

This is not “playful.”
This is not “just teasing.”
This is not “flirting.”
This is not “having a crush.”

This is:

Not respecting your boundaries.

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⭐ Chapter 2 — The type of man who “pretends not to know you’re uncomfortable” but actually knows very well

Men like this often share the same pattern:

1) He likes to come very close.
Closer than a normal coworker.
He invades your space.

2) He starts by being the “nice guy.”
Buys snacks.
Acts kind.
Builds a sense that you “owe him” or feel bad saying no.

3) He touches you in ways that look “playful” on the surface,
but are actually boundary-crossing.

4) When he hits a point where you very clearly feel uncomfortable,
he rushes away.
He knows he crossed the line,
but he pretends it was unintentional.

This is a clear sign of intent:
he knows it’s wrong, but doesn’t dare face the consequences.

5) He repeats the behavior because you haven’t said it explicitly.
His mindset is:

“If she doesn’t say she doesn’t like it, that means it’s okay.”

And that mindset is very dangerous.

6) Because he’s your ex-husband’s friend,
he feels even more emboldened, thinking:

“She won’t dare reject me too harshly — it will affect our mutual friends.”

That kind of thinking is toxic and deeply unfair to you as a woman.

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⭐ Chapter 3 — What’s really happening in your heart (I’ll translate it into words for you)

From everything you’ve told me,
I can see four main emotions inside you:

💔 1) Discomfort
Because you have to see him every day
and you don’t know when he’ll touch you again.

💔 2) Fear
Because the incident where he touched your chest is a major red flag.
Not an “oops” moment he acknowledged,
but a moment where he crossed the line and then escaped.

💔 3) Confusion
Because you want to maintain the atmosphere at work,
you don’t want to put mutual friends in a difficult position,
especially since your friends are also his friends, and he’s also your ex’s friend.

💔 4) Inner guilt
Even though, in reality…
you are not the one at fault.

You don’t like him that way.
You haven’t given signals of interest.
You have a child.
He already knows you’re not “available” or open to that.

But he still acts as if you’ve “left a door open” for him.

In reality:
You have not opened any door.
He is the one stepping over the line and telling himself it’s okay.

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⭐ Chapter 4 — Is what he’s doing actually “harassment”?

The boundaries are very clear:

🔥 Grabbing your back = Crossing the line
🔥 Poking your back = Crossing the line
🔥 Bringing his face close to yours = Crossing the line
🔥 Standing too close = Crossing the line
🔥 Touching your chest = Sexual harassment

You do not have to wait for a second or third time.

Just once is already too much.

And the fact that he hurried away right after touching you
is a sign that he knows it isn’t okay,
but chose to do it anyway.

This tells us two very important things:

1. He knows he has no right to touch you like that.
2. He knows you could call him out,
   but his desire to touch you was stronger than his fear of consequences.

Someone who knows it’s wrong but does it anyway
is one of the most dangerous types of people to have around you at work.

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⭐ Chapter 5 — Why does he feel so bold about touching a woman like this?

Because he thinks:

“She won’t really do anything to me.”

There are four reasons he feels this way:

1) He knows you’re polite and considerate.
Especially because he’s your ex-husband’s friend.
He assumes that rejecting him firmly might “create drama,”
so he subconsciously uses this as pressure.

2) He’s received enough friendliness from you (surface-level).
Men like this often misinterpret basic politeness as:
“See? She’s okay with me.”

You didn’t scold him.
You didn’t yell.
You didn’t physically shove him away.
Not because you’re okay with it—
but because you don’t want conflict.

3) He thinks “a little touch is no big deal.”
Many men who lack awareness about women’s safety
think like this.
It’s extremely toxic.

4) He thinks you “don’t have anyone to stand up for you.”
You’re divorced.
You have a child.
You’re busy focusing on work and life.
He may assume you’ll “accept the attention”.

That assumption is extremely dangerous.

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⭐ Chapter 6 — The main question: What should you do?

The answer has to be given in three dimensions, because this situation involves:

• Your safety
• Your emotional well-being
• Workplace relationships
• Mutual friends
• And your ex-husband’s social circle

I’ll break it into three levels,
and you can choose what feels most comfortable for you.

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⭐ Level 1: “Set clear boundaries” without starting a war (but he will definitely feel it)

This is for when you don’t want a big scene,
but you absolutely want safety.

What to do:

Change your facial expression the moment he touches you.
Show a serious, clearly “not okay” expression.
You don’t have to say anything yet—but your face should say “Stop.”

Move your body away immediately.
Let him see very clearly that you are physically pulling back.
This body language speaks loudly.

Use short but clear phrases, like:

• “Please don’t touch me. I don’t feel comfortable.”
• “No, I don’t like that.”
• “This is not okay.”

Short.
Direct.
He will be shocked, because he’s never been confronted like that.

Use physical distance as a message.
Create at least one step of space between you and him.
He will know instantly that he has crossed the line.

This approach keeps you safe,
your tone is not “aggressive,”
but the message is absolutely clear.

And no one can twist this into “you yelled at him” or “you were rude.”

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⭐ Level 2: Have a direct talk — polite, but adult-level serious

If you want to resolve it properly once and for all,
you can say something like this:

“Can I be honest with you about something?

When you touch me — whether it’s poking my back or grabbing my back —
I feel uncomfortable.
I really don’t feel okay with it.

I’m not angry at you,
but I’m asking you to please keep some distance,
because it’s my personal space.”

He will lose face in that moment,
and most men of this type will stop
because they’re only brave when women stay silent.

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⭐ Level 3: If he still doesn’t stop → you have to protect yourself more seriously

This is not “snitching.”
This is protecting yourself in your workplace.

You don’t need to announce it to everyone.
You don’t need to give full graphic details to the whole office.

But you can quietly tell HR or a trusted female manager, something like:

“There is someone crossing my boundaries.
He has touched my body, including my chest once.
I don’t feel safe.
I’d like some help making sure my personal space is respected.”

HR will take this very seriously.
Your name can be kept confidential.
He will be spoken to privately, in a way that does not make it obvious you reported him.

This is standard in 2025.
Sexual harassment is treated as a serious risk.

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⭐ The most important things I want to tell you as a friend

I want you to really remember this:

❤️ 1) You are not overreacting.
What he is doing is harassment,
not flirting,
not affection,
not “just teasing,”

It is violating your space and crossing your boundaries.

❤️ 2) You have 100% the right to remove yourself from this situation.
No guilt.
No need to “be nice” about your own safety.
Safety comes first.

❤️ 3) The fact that he’s your ex-husband’s friend is just a social connection,
not a barrier that prevents you from defending yourself.

❤️ 4) You are a mother.
Your safety = your child’s safety.
You do not have the luxury of letting someone make you feel scared like this.

❤️ 5) If he genuinely liked you, he would respect you.
A man who does not respect your personal space
is absolutely not someone who should be anywhere near a woman with a child—
in any capacity.

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⭐ Clear summary:

• His behavior is harassment, not romance.
• You are not overthinking.
• You have every right to set boundaries.
• Don’t let politeness override your safety.
• If a warning doesn’t work, escalate.
• If you speak firmly but calmly, he will likely stop.
• Your work life will feel much lighter and safer once you draw the line.

❤️

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sexual harassment at work, unwanted touching, personal boundaries, workplace safety, female employee protection, coworker crossing the line, ex-husband’s friend, uncomfortable physical contact, body autonomy, consent violation, subtle harassment, workplace misconduct, setting boundaries, direct communication, HR report, toxic male behavior, pretending not to know, women’s safety, emotional discomfort, physical violation