How do single moms handle stress? 💭

Let’s talk about this:

My boyfriend lost his phone, so he’s been using mine. We’re now sharing the same LINE account. There’s a female coworker of his (different department, joined the company at the same time, she’s 7 years older than him). She chats with him playfully—not like others who keep it strictly work. Everyone else is formal and to the point, but she jokes around. For example, if he asks, “Which task do you want?” she replies, “The first one—kidding, all of them,” or says things like, “I’ll treat you to dessert at the outing if you do well,” even though she’s not his supervisor.

It feels strange to me—too familiar, considering the age and position difference. My boyfriend’s not great at reading women, either. I told him not to chat playfully like that because some women might take it the wrong way and think it’s okay to flirt. Do I seem unreasonable? He’s going to a company outing soon and I don’t want him to go:

I had a bad dream that he died.

I’m worried about this woman—she seems to be getting very close to him.

What should I do? He says he’s not interested in her at all, but I still don’t like it when she clings and flirts like this. Others at his level don’t act this playful. Please don’t be harsh—I’m pregnant and very sensitive right now. I cry at the smallest things. 😭🙏🏻

Here’s how I see it :

Hey, sweetheart. Come here—sit with me for a bit. I know this is heavy on your chest. I can almost see the way your shoulders tense when you talk about it, the way your thoughts won’t stop circling the same image: her name on your boyfriend’s chat screen, the little jokes that sting more than they should, the bad dream that felt so real you woke up breathless. You’re not crazy, and you’re not weak.

You’re just someone who loves deeply and is carrying more than one heartbeat right now—literally. So, I’m going to talk to you like a friend would: softly, slowly, truthfully. We’ll untangle your fear piece by piece until you can breathe again.

This is going to be long, because you deserve more than quick reassurance. You deserve understanding—the kind that steadies your heart and helps you stand tall again.

🌧 1. Let’s start with the truth about what’s really happening inside you

You’re not just jealous of another woman. You’re protective—of your relationship, your safety, your emotional home.

And right now, your body is in a heightened state of alert. Pregnancy does that. Your hormones surge, your brain literally rewires to safeguard your baby and the bond that created it. That’s nature’s design—it’s the part of your mind that whispers: “Keep us safe. Keep us stable.”

So when something—or someone—feels like a possible threat to that stability, your body reacts like it’s hearing a siren.

Your chest tightens. Your imagination runs wild. Your dreams start turning your worries into stories.

You’re not “too sensitive.” You’re simply wired, in this moment, to protect love. And that instinct, while beautiful, can sometimes over-interpret small things as danger.

That’s not your fault.

What matters now is how we calm the alarm without silencing your feelings.

🧠 2. Let’s separate three layers of what you’re feeling

Right now, three things are blending together like watercolor paints, and they look like one giant fear. Let’s name them individually: 

1. Protective Fear: “I’m scared something could happen between them.”

This comes from love, from wanting security.

 

2. Emotional Insecurity: “Am I still desirable, lovable, interesting enough?”

Pregnancy shifts how we see ourselves—your body is changing, your world is shrinking into care routines and doctor visits, and sometimes you just want proof that he still sees you through all that.

 

3. Symbolic Fear: “If he flirts or lets someone flirt, what does that mean about us?”

This isn’t about her dessert jokes—it’s about what it symbolizes: potential disloyalty, emotional distance, danger to your peace.

Once you see that, you realize it’s not only about her. It’s about you wanting to feel chosen, protected, and prioritized.

That’s completely fair.

💬 3. About that coworker — the “playful” woman

Let’s talk about her calmly.

You described her messages: teasing, informal, a little too light compared to others at work. That’s not “proof” of bad intent, but it’s unprofessional flirt territory.

There are three kinds of people like her in workplaces:

• Friendly extroverts: They talk to everyone playfully. It’s not about attraction; it’s about personality.
• Social climbers: They use friendliness and flattery to feel liked, especially by male coworkers.
• Boundary testers: They intentionally flirt just to see how far they can go, often ignoring if someone is taken.

Right now, you don’t have enough evidence to know which one she is. But your unease is valid because you can feel her crossing into emotional familiarity.

The tone she uses—“I’ll treat you to dessert if you do well”—isn’t something most colleagues say. It’s playful, slightly intimate, and invites back-and-forth energy.

Now, your boyfriend being “bad at reading women” makes this tricky. Because sometimes men truly don’t see when someone’s flirting—they think it’s harmless friendliness.

But still, his job isn’t to read her mind—it’s to protect your peace.

⚖️ 4. Let’s talk about fairness — what’s reasonable, and what’s not

You said you don’t want him to go to the company outing. You also had a dream he died, which left you shaken.

Let’s separate emotion from reality carefully, with compassion.

• It’s reasonable to say, “Her behavior makes me uncomfortable. Please don’t encourage her.”
• It’s reasonable to say, “Can you be extra mindful at the outing? I need to feel safe about this.”
• But it’s not sustainable to forbid him from going. Why? Because avoidance builds resentment, not safety.

If you say, “Don’t go,” he might go anyway—or go with guilt, or lie to avoid conflict. That’s not a healthy precedent for your future together.

You need him to choose respect, not obey restriction.

He’s reassured you he’s not interested.

So your goal isn’t to cage him—it’s to help him understand what respectful distance looks like, and why that matters to you right now.

🌷 5. What healthy boundaries sound like

You don’t have to sound like the jealous girlfriend. You can sound like the woman who knows her worth and expects maturity. Try something like this:

“I know you don’t have bad intentions, but when she talks to you in that playful way, it makes me uneasy. Maybe it’s the hormones, maybe it’s intuition, but I just need to know you’re being clear with her about boundaries. I’m not trying to control you—I just want to feel secure while we’re both adjusting to a big change.”

That’s not a demand—it’s a partnership statement.

You’re saying: I trust you, but I also need to feel protected.

If he loves you—and from what you’ve described, he does—he’ll understand that trust isn’t automatic; it’s maintained through choices.

💞 6. How he can protect your peace (a gentle checklist you can share with him)

You can even frame it as “What helps me feel calm” instead of “What you must do.”

1. Be transparent. If she messages, don’t hide it or delete it. Secrecy triggers fear faster than honesty.
2. Keep tone neutral. Reply kindly, but skip playful banter.
3. No private jokes or emojis that could look intimate. That’s emotional territory, not work.
4. Mention me naturally sometimes. Not to make her jealous, but to subtly affirm his life with you. (e.g., “My girlfriend and I tried that place—it’s great.”)
5. If she flirts again, set a soft boundary. Something like, “Haha, careful or my girlfriend will think you’re recruiting me to your dessert team.” Gentle humor, clear signal.

That way, he stays respected at work and you stay peaceful at home.

🌙 7. Let’s talk about the dream — and what it’s really saying

Dreams during pregnancy often mirror emotional fears, not predictions.

Your dream that he died isn’t about death—it’s about loss. The subconscious fear that you could lose him emotionally.

It’s your brain dramatizing your vulnerability: “What if he leaves? What if I’m left alone?”

That’s why you woke up scared. But instead of treating it like an omen, treat it like a message from your heart saying, “I’m anxious. I need reassurance.”

So instead of saying, “You can’t go because I dreamt it,” try saying:

“I had a bad dream last night where something happened to you. It left me shaken. I think it’s just my anxiety about us being apart. I need some comfort, okay?”

That invites him into your feelings instead of turning them into rules.

🪞 8. When jealousy visits, handle it like weather, not identity

Jealousy isn’t a flaw—it’s information. It says: “Something matters deeply to me.”

But here’s what jealousy isn’t supposed to do: control your partner, punish them, or dictate their movements.

Jealousy becomes destructive only when it stays unexamined.

So next time you feel it rise, pause and ask:

• What is the actual threat? (Flirtation? Or fear of being replaced?)
• What do I need right now? (Reassurance? Attention? A hug? A nap?)
• Can I express it without blame? (“I’m feeling uneasy,” not “You’re making me crazy.”)

Pregnancy will make your emotions louder. But that’s temporary. You’ll return to baseline soon.

For now, practice naming feelings before reacting to them.

🧩 9. Practical grounding tools for anxious moments

Because I know those moments—when he’s out, and your mind spirals. Try these:

• Text limit rule: One calm message, then step away. Don’t spiral-text.
• The “3 x 3 reset”: Find 3 sounds, 3 things you see, and 3 sensations (your feet on the floor, the air on your skin, the heartbeat in your chest). Brings you back to now.
• Comfort ritual: Have a playlist, a candle, or even a soft blanket that becomes your emotional anchor. Use it instead of scrolling through chats.
• Talk to your baby. Seriously. Say, “Mommy’s feeling nervous right now, but we’re safe.” It rewires your mind from fear to nurturing mode.

Your baby benefits from your calm—and you deserve calm, too.

🌼 10. Let’s gently look at your boyfriend again

From your story, he seems to be transparent—he’s using your phone, hasn’t hidden anything, reassures you he’s not interested. Those are good signs.

That means he’s not playing games—he’s just clumsy in emotional reading, like many men are.

• Here’s what you can appreciate in him:
• He’s not hiding the chats.
• He doesn’t get defensive right away.
• He acknowledges your feelings.

That’s emotional maturity.

So instead of focusing on what the coworker is doing, focus on how he responds. That’s the real barometer of his loyalty.

💗 11. What love looks like during pregnancy

Pregnancy reshapes relationships. Your body is busy building a new person, and your mind is busy building a new version of “us.”

During this time, both partners must learn new roles:

• You: the protector of emotional safety.
• Him: the guardian of your calm.

Tell him plainly:

“Right now, I need more reassurance than usual. It’s not that I don’t trust you—I just need extra softness from you because everything feels amplified.”

That’s not weakness—it’s communication.

And for you: practice self-soothing as often as possible. You’re not just keeping a baby alive; you’re teaching yourself to mother your own heart, too.

💬 12. How to talk about the outing (without turning it into a fight)

Let’s make a script. Not to read word-for-word, but to guide tone:

“Hey, about the outing—I know it’s important for work, and I want to be supportive. I just need to be honest that part of me feels uneasy about that coworker. I don’t want to stop you from going, but can we agree on a few boundaries that make both of us comfortable? Like keeping it professional and letting me know roughly when you’ll be home? It’ll help me relax and focus on resting.”

That’s partnership language—respectful, cooperative, and emotionally intelligent.

You’re not saying, “You can’t go.” You’re saying, “Let’s handle this as a team.”

He’ll feel trusted and accountable at the same time. That’s the sweet spot.

🌻 13. How to protect your peace during the outing

You can plan small self-care rituals to anchor yourself:

• Plan your own mini “retreat.” Watch a cozy movie, cook your favorite comfort meal, or video call a close friend.
• Keep your phone on do-not-disturb except for him. So you don’t feed anxiety with scrolling.
• Journal the good signs. Write down one way he’s shown care lately. Remind yourself of his pattern of love.
• Say a small mantra: “If he’s mine, he’ll come home with love. If he’s not, I’ll know with grace.”

Trust works like this: you build it, test it, and maintain it—not by control, but by observation and faith.

🌈 14. What if your worst fear comes true?

Let’s be realistic—sometimes, people do cross lines. But here’s the truth that no one says gently enough:

If he were the kind of man to betray you, forbidding one dinner wouldn’t stop him.

And if he’s the kind of man who respects you, no playful coworker could lure him away.

So your power isn’t in controlling scenarios. It’s in knowing you’ll be okay, no matter the outcome.

That kind of quiet confidence is magnetic—it reminds both of you that love built on choice, not fear, lasts longer.

💞 15. A message for your heart—and for the baby listening inside you

Your child will one day watch how you love. They’ll learn not just from how you’re treated, but from how you treat yourself.

So show them this: that a strong woman can feel jealous, cry, then take a deep breath, communicate calmly, and choose trust over panic.

That’s what emotional intelligence looks like.

You’re teaching by example already.

Even now, you’re proving that love and self-respect can coexist.

🕊 16. A reminder for the sleepless nights

When your mind starts whispering at 2 a.m., here’s what you can tell yourself:

• “I can’t control other people, but I can control the atmosphere of my heart.”
• “He’s allowed to exist in the world; I’m allowed to need reassurance.”
• “This anxiety is temporary—it’s the echo of change, not the voice of truth.”
• “My body is strong, my love is real, and my worth is stable.”

Let those words wrap around you like a soft blanket when the fear gets loud.

🌤 17. A final perspective from your friend here

You’re not unreasonable. You’re just in a season where every emotion feels louder. And that’s okay.

What matters most isn’t never feeling jealous—it’s knowing what to do with that feeling.

• Don’t let fear dictate your choices.
• Don’t punish love because you’re scared.
• Don’t underestimate your own calm power.

And remember:

If your relationship is solid, a single woman’s flirtation won’t break it.

If it’s fragile, this situation will simply reveal what already needed fixing.

Either way, truth will come quietly and clearly—you won’t have to force it.

So take care of yourself, beautiful soul. Let him go to his outing. Let yourself rest. Let your love mature through this test.

Because love that’s real doesn’t crumble under flirtation—it grows more intentional.

And love that’s worth keeping doesn’t make you beg for safety—it gives it freely.

🌹 In summary (for your notes or blog):

You’re not unreasonable for feeling uneasy about your partner’s coworker. Pregnancy amplifies emotions, but your instincts are rooted in love.

Handle it by communicating calmly, setting clear boundaries, and managing anxiety with grounding rituals.

Focus on your partner’s behavior, not the coworker’s personality.

Trust him enough to let him go, but make your needs known clearly.

Jealousy isn’t a flaw; it’s a signal.

Respond with love, not control.

And remember—faithful partners don’t need policing; unfaithful ones can’t be stopped by it.

Love that lasts is built not on constant supervision, but on shared respect.

So breathe, my dear.

Let him go, and let yourself feel safe again.

You’re not “too emotional.” You’re just a woman with a heart big enough to protect what she loves—and a life inside her reminding her that safety begins within.

#PregnancyEmotions #RelationshipAdvice #HealthyBoundaries #WorkplaceDynamics #TrustInRelationships #ManagingJealousy #CommunicationInLove #EmotionalSafety #AnxietyDuringPregnancy #SelfCareForMoms #DramoCiety